The Birds & The Bees – It’s More Than Sex

Episode 1 Season 1: The Birds and the Bees it is more is just Sex.

What are we going to talk about?

Jax and Renae delve into the forbidden of talking about sex with your tweens teens. Guess what?!? Research does NOT support the idea of simply not talking about sex with your tween/teen. Jax and Renae kick the door down on the taboo topic of talking with teens about sex by drilling into discussing gender, sex, and masturbation right out of the blocks. Healthy sex education starts when children are little! Not after they have learned about sex from their friend on the monkey bars. It is a myth that talking about sex leads to sex!

When should you start talking to kids about sex?

The younger the better but using language and sources that are appropriate for your child at different developmental ages. They should learn from you rather than from the playground talk. 

Gender??? What???

A relatively new area to talk to our kids about is gender expression and sexuality. Renae and Jax take some time to talk about how to help kids understand gender and how to prepare your children to explore their gender and/or understand other’s gender expression.

What should you do when your culture is different than those around you?

How do you handle the social reaction to your child having “the” knowledge? You need to be open with other parents in your circle when you talk with your child because they talk to each other and any info and potential misunderstanding will spread like wildfire! Renae and Jax also talk about respecting the culture of other families around you. Different cultures have very different beliefs about sex.

What is your expectation?

Are your expectations are too high or too low? Your expectations will dictate the behavior of your kids. If they are too low the kids may choose to not exceed them. If they are too high, you may have chosen a battle line. Listen in, Jax and Renae will give you ideas about expectations. 

Tips

Jax and Renae give tips on how to create the right situation and open the conversation with your kids so that it goes smoothly, and they perceive you as hearing over lecturing. Setting and phrases to use with your kids are covered. Renae and Jax also discuss things to help you stay present while you are freaking the fuck out inside!

How can You reach us?

Find them on social media by engaging with them in their facebook group for Moms of Tween/TeenDaughters: https://www.facebook.com/groups/momsandteengirls/?ref=bookmarks 

Jax Anderson can be found on IG @thepsykotherapist and Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jaxandersonlpc/.

Renae can be found on IG @renae.d.swanson

or you can email her at rswanson@integritycounselingllc.net

Join the email list for Raise A Little Hell Podcast here: www.raisealittlehellpodcast.com

Resource Ideas and Links

Talking about sex with the littles. The following books are golden.

Sex is a Funny Word by Cory Silverberg and Fiona Smyth

What Makes a Baby by Cory Silberberg

Talking to your kids about sex

https://healthfinder.gov/healthtopics/category/parenting/healthy-communication-and-relationships/talk-to-your-kids-about-sex

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/parents/tips-talking

https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/ultimate-guide-to-sex-talk#when-to-talk

Gender and Sexuality

https://www.hrc.org/resources/resources-for-people-with-transgender-family-members

Resources for our academic audience

Roffman, D.M. (2011). A review of talking to your kids about sex: Turning “the talk” into a conversation for life. American Journal of Sexuality Education, 6, pp. 326-328.

Telingator, C, & Webster, C.R. (2019). The birds and the bees: Speaking to children, adolescents, and families about gender and sexuality. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 58, pp. S10.

Bersamin, M; Todd, M.; Fisher, D.A.; Hill, D.L. Grube, J.W; & Walker, S. (2008). Parenting practices and adolescent sexual behavior: A longitudinal study. Journal of Marriage and Family, 70, 97-112

Check out this episode of Raise A Little Hell Podcast!

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