Don’t listen to the noise
First, you have to shut out the fucking noise.
Seriously, what are you doing to protect yourSELF from the noise?
What I mean by the noise is what everyone else is doing, what everyone else is thinking about you, what everyone else thinks you should or shouldn’t do, what everyone else says is best for you. The bullshit you see on TV, social media, magazines and other sources that cause you to feel like you don’t have your shit together, that you’re less than if you don’t have what they have or you aren’t as ‘successful’ as they are.
If you’re listening to the noise, which is a full-time job, how will you ever create or get to know yourSELF? How will you discover your desires and aspirations? How can you objectively and fairly make independent decisions that are in your best interest if you are co-dependently relying upon what everyone else is doing? How can you get to know yourSELF if you allow the rest of the world to define your worth?
Shut out the fucking noise.
I know it’s scary to turn off the noise. Especially when you’re suddenly confronted with utter silence. It’s fucking scary as hell to ask aloud “Who am I?” and get the echo chamber response “Who am I, Who am I, Who am I….” as it fades into the dark cavern. It’s a lonely feeling. It’s a two by four the face to realize you’ve been spending all of your time and energy comparing yourself to others and following the herd rather than building a healthy solid foundation of SELF. You realize you’ve been affected by and sold on the idea that your value is defined by a social construct and your material goods. That you have allowed yourSELF and mind to be owned by corporate CEO’s and marketing companies trained in a very proficient manipulative tactic to keep you from questioning the status quo and thinking for yourself. They want you dependent upon them, that’s how they survive. Don’t be too hard on yourself, they’re good at what they do; but it’s time to wake up.
Shut out the fucking noise.
Fuck New Year Resolutions
Skip it. Rebel. Don’t make a New Year resolution. What is a resolution anyway? A re-solution, re-solve? A solution you have thought about before but never followed through on? A solution that you’ve tried before but didn’t get to the end? A firm decision to do or not do something. Let’s be honest, how successful are humans at cold turkeying anything?
According to U.S. News & World Report 80% of people do not follow through on their New Year resolutions. Eighty fucking percent! The odds of following through on your New Year resolution are so hard against you it’s not even worth making them. That’s a lot of extra work for one fucking re-solution; if you ask me, it’s not fucking worth it. I’m always up for a challenge, but I’m not about to go against 80% odds not in my favor. I will FIRST change the odds, then make my move.
80 fucking percent!
Clearly, setting a New Year resolution is generally unproductive and inefficient. A waste of your time! If you’re reading this and dreading to set a New Year resolution but feeling the pressure to follow the noise of the herd and set one, then use this blog post as your reason to say “Fuck it”.
If you’re not quite up to taking accountability for your own choices yet, go ahead and blame me for this one, “Well, I read this article by an experienced mental health counselor who has worked with hundreds of people over 15 years; and she suggests an 80% failure rate is too risky to my mental health and personal growth; so I’m skipping resolutions this New Year’s Eve and I’m going to thoughtfully and mindfully take time to assess my needs and set goals for my future growth. Then design a personalized strategic plan for success.”
80 fucking percent!
Start With Awareness
If you have a desire or aspiration you would like to achieve, begin by getting to know your desire and aspiration. What it looks like now, what it would look like when you’ve achieved it. Realistically assess what is reasonable (but still challenging) for you to achieve.
Never set goals based on what you think others want you to do. Always set goals based on what you want. You’re the one that has to live with yourself, you’re the one who is going to do all the work. You have to set goals based on what YOU desire.
If you don’t know what you desire because you don’t really know yourSELF well enough yet, that’s okay! The silver lining about not knowing yourSELF is you have your first goal; get to fucking know yourSELF.
Start with what you like to do. What do you typically surround yourself with that makes you laugh and smile? Are there hobbies you can experiment with or people you can talk to? For example, if you’re interested in taking pictures, find a few photographers and ask them for a few minutes to ask them questions.
The path to self discovery and creation is a beautiful journey!
If you’re a person who thrives on making and fulfilling resolutions, then great for you! Do it! My advice isn’t for everyone, and I prefer it that way. People are individual and different; that’s the beauty of this world and the very point of this article to begin with.
We are different; therefore, we need to start thinking, feeling, expressing and living that way. Follow your truth, your desires and aspirations. Live for yourSELF and those you love and those who love you will have a deeper and more authentic relationship with you.
Bottom line: When it comes to New Years Eve, do what you want!