Holiday Horror to Holiday Hangover

Another Holiday in the books.

  • The obligatory visit, showing up when I would rather not…check.
  • The obligatory vague gifts bought last minute and haphazardly wrapped…check.
  • The fake smiles, false cheer brought to you as a result of psychotropic medication…check.
  • Resisting the deafening urge to run away and avoid everyone…check.

The Holidays.

Beginning earlier and earlier every year, the overzealous among us remind everyone there are only 364 more days until Xmas.

I’m sick of it.

I realize this is my opinion, but I’m entitled to it.  I’m sick of the Holiday build up, I’m sick of the early infestation of the Holidays.  I’m sick of people pretending to give a shit about others in order to boost their own charity credibility.  It’s not hard to miss, because when these people are pushed to actually care about someone outside of the realm of who they imagine themselves caring about, their aloof attitude is obvious.  No matter how well I prepare, solidify my walls, call in the troops, and promise myself it ‘won’t get to me this year’; inevitably the Holiday Horror bullshit breaks through with it’s annoying and catchy music, the over privileged, a multitude of holiday cards, hypocrisy, family obligations, entitled attitudes, crowded everything and festive gear at every turn.

I’m sick of how entitled and privileged people act.  

This year I read a story about how people were LEGIT pissed they had to PAY the Santa booth for a picture with Santa.  That they weren’t allowed to stand in line and get their own free picture with their cell phone of their kid sitting on Santa’s lap for as long as they wanted their kid to sit on Santa’s lap.  Really?

  • How DARE they actually charge a fee for a service!!  
  • How DARE that Santa sit patiently ALL DAY long to bring your kids a Holiday experience and expect to be reimbursed.  
  • How DARE they try to make money to pay employees and mall rent in order to offer your kids a joyous Holiday experience with Santa.

Honestly! And here’s my thought: If paying Santa for a picture is the WORST thing you have to endure over the Holidays…well I’ve got news for you…YOU’RE LIFE IS PRETTY FUCKING GOOD if your biggest complaint is being charged money for a service you are engaging in willingly.

Additional Holiday Horror comes wrapped in:

  • the inauthentic Holiday energy roaming the community selecting who gets their holiday cheer and who gets ignored and avoided,
  • the in your face commercialism and solicitation while purchasing goods,
  • the pushy and rushed accumulating things to spread holiday cheer while stepping over and in front of people to get their own needs met first,
  • the lack of politeness and appreciation for service/retail workers and safety workers (or anyone for that matter),
  • the entitled and privileged complaining about meaningless things while keeping their heads in the sand about actual meaningful things like homeless kids and those without family,
  • the religious complaining about ‘Christ’ not being in Christmas (yet also perpetuating the Santa lie) and getting expressively offended by people who spell Xmas with an ‘X’,
  • basically the very people who talk about how precious the Holiday is but act like vultures and vampires at every turn fighting over every last morsel of holiday gear, taking ownership of the Holiday and telling people how they have to act during the Holiday (in order for themselves to feel more comfortable mind you) and sucking the enjoyment out of EVERYTHING.

The Holiday Hangover is REAL…and a welcome relief.

Here I sit, 10:30pm in my bed on December 29th, writing a Confession trying to rid myself of the toxicity I picked up over the last four months through creative expression; in words laced with sarcasm, brutal truth, a bit of resentment and a touch of cynicism.

It sneaks up on a person, doesn’t it?  

Every year I think I’m coping well, remaining unaffected and going with the flow, and then BOOM! Suddenly I’m full of Holiday Horror…the stank of the Holiday attitude has found its way in, like mosquitoes through a screen door, persistent and never ending.  I have once again allowed myself to become weakened and stung by the energy of the Holiday craze.

I take full responsibility for the fact this is MY ISSUE.  However, I am also under the impression I’m not alone in feeling the Holiday Horror.  

The Holiday Hangover is my way of releasing the angst, stress and irritation of Holiday Horror.  I’m not at all sad the Holiday is over.  The Holiday Hangover is about spending a week recalibrating with dissociative behavior, emotional vomiting, vacationing (if you’re lucky), avoiding family, writing my feelings, connecting with great friends and taking down ALL evidence of the Holidays until the Holiday energy settles and life can return to normal programming.

*Discloser*, because it needs to be said…

I have learned what makes me a strong, empowered and confident person is speaking my truth.

Being authentic. 

Expressing transparency.

I could not live with myself if I weren’t REAL and authentic.  This Confessions blog is my place to write my thoughts, my own feelings about anything.  Today it’s about the Holiday topic.

I own my feelings and thoughts, I don’t own your interpretation of them. 

My thoughts, opinions and feelings expressed in this blog will affect each person who reads this differently…your interpretation of what I say here comes from your own experiences, thoughts and feelings on the topic.  Once I hit publish, my words on this blog belong to you, the reader.

Consider this…

I take responsibility for my feelings, thoughts and opinions, however, I will not take responsibility for how readers feel about my words.  Before you respond to me for feeling the way I do about what I said here, consider how my words have been interpreted by your own system to cause you to feel the way you do.

Take ownership of your interpretation before you respond to me.  I wrote this for me, not you, the reader.  I shared with you, the reader, for transparency and authenticity sake, not to make anyone feel any certain way.  How could I possibly MAKE anyone feel a certain way?  No one has that kind of power over other adults.

Yours Truly,

Jax

 

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